Ephesians 5:28-33 commentary

 

So ought men to love their women as their own bodies He that loves his wife loves himself For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it even as the Lord the church For we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his woman and they two shall be one flesh This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife that she fear her husband

Comments: Ephesians 5:28-33 does not establish gender-based hierarchy, as Christians are so commonly taught. What it establishes is that, because of The Fall, husbands will have a sinful tendency to love themselves more than they love their wives. This passage establishes the fact that the prophecy in Genesis 3:16 is being fulfilled and that husbands need to be encouraged to love their wives at least as much as they love their own selves.

But wait, isn’t Jesus’ command that we one another as HE loves us given to the entire Body of Christ? Is it a gender-based command? Is Paul’s reminder to selflessly love one another by preferring one another before ourselves a gender-based admonition? Was Peter’s reminder to love one another deeply a gender-based admonition? So how is it that husbands needing to be told to love their wives is somehow a good thing?

Only gender-biased-theology can transform a fulfillment of a cursed prophecy into a compliment. Ephesians 5:28-33 does not confirm a gender-based hierarchy. Rather, in fulfillment of the prophecy in Genesis 3:16, it confirms that husbands will not only have a sinful tendency not to love their wives as Christ loves us but that husbands will be tempted to not love their wives even as much as they love their own selves.

There is no separate set of biblical rules for wives and husbands than for any other Christian. Christ’s commandment for all of his followers to love each other as HE loves us is not a gender-based command, and it is to be taken seriously by every Believer.

So why is it that husbands need to be commanded to love their wives … at least as much as they love their own selves?

Wives are never commanded to love their husbands. Does that mean they don’t have to? Of course not.

Why is it that husbands are warned that if they do not treat their wives right, their prayers will be hindered? Why is it that Paul warned women (Ephesians 5:33) that they should be afraid of their husbands (The Greek word in that verse is more accurately translated as a phobia-based “fear,” and not “reverence”)?

Gender-biased-theology has transformed and twisted the prophecies in Genesis 3:16, into both blessing (for men) and slander (of women). The prophecy was that men would have a sinful tendency to dominate their women and that women would have a sinful tendency to love their men more than their Creator.

Complementarianism teaches women to ignore the voice of God and follow the voice of their husbands, should the two voices contradict.

Complementarianism teaches that women do not have to answer to God if they obey their husbands, even if their husbands lead them into sin. God does not bless sin, whether it is committed by women or men. And he certainly did not bless the first male for disobeying the only “Thou shalt not,” that he was given in The Garden.

Each of the first pair suffered the consequence of their action. The only blessings given in the Genesis three passage, were given to the woman, when she was told that her conception would be multiplied (children are blessings and not curses) and that one of her offspring would defeat the serpent.

As for Ephesians 5:28-33, It is not a hierarchical passage confirming gender-based-authority of men over women, but rather a reproach on husbands that they even need to be commanded to love their wives in the first place.

Husbands who are living their lives according to the Word of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH, do not need to be commanded to love their wives.

Ephesians 5:28-33 is meant for men and women who have drunk **the complementarian Kool-Aid, and, because of that some husbands have become physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual threats to some wives.

**Many couples who give lip-service to complementarianism either have or appear to have happy marriages. Complementarian leaders point to this as proof that their doctrine is scriptural and that their unbiblical model of male governance “works.” Looking below the surface, it is often found that in practice, happy couples who give lip service to complementarianism actually live egalitarian lives. Others, such as in the case of [the late] Elisabeth Elliot, hide the authoritarianism and unhappiness in their marriages. Elliot was a life-long champion of male governance. Her marriages were all based on the complementarian model of females submitting to males. In her 1966 book, Let Me be a Woman, Elliot admitted to unhappiness in her marriage but refused to admit the reason for it. She advised her daughter that she should expect to cry for no reason, that women simply cry for “no reason.” I submit to you, that no one cries for no reason. 

Thankfully, there are men do not fall for the complementarian siren song of male governance. Ephesians 5:28-33 is not meant for such men. Likewise, it is not meant for women who are married to such men. These wives need not fear their husbands.